Jalapenos in my Hush Puppies

dreamstime_xs_55195378I love hush puppies!  I don’t get the opportunity to eat them very often so when I do I have a tendency to go overboard.

My husband and I were traveling to Missouri for a wedding and stopped in Iowa for the night.  We decided to have dinner at a seafood restaurant.  (I know, who goes to Iowa for seafood?  But it sounded good.)  I was thrilled to learn the restaurant had hush puppies.  My shrimp came with hush puppies and fries.  I requested hush puppies and hush puppies.  My husband ordered a side of hush puppies as an appetizer because he did not think he would get any of mine.  (He was right.  But I got some of his.)

When the side of hush puppies arrived, I was ecstatic.  (Did I mention that I love hush puppies?)  After just a few bites, though, I was disappointed.  There were jalapenos in my hush puppies.  I do not like jalapenos.  I considered not eating anymore hush puppies because I do not like jalapenos.  Then I decided I was not going to let something I didn’t like, jalapenos, get in the way of something I loved, hush puppies.  So I ate around the jalapenos as much as possible and enjoyed the hush puppies.

The next morning, I realized that the jalapenos in my hush puppies was a good metaphor for life.  (Alcohol may have had something to do with me not making the connection the evening before.)

There will always be things we don’t like wrapped up in the things we love.  We can choose to give up the things we love to avoid the things we don’t like.  Or we can choose to accept the things we don’t like, deal with them the best we can, and continue to enjoy the things we love.

Don’t let the jalapenos in life keep you from enjoying your hush puppies.

Ms., Miss, or Mrs.?

Men are easy when it comes to addressing them.  Use “Mr.”  It doesn’t matter if the man is single, married, divorced, or widowed; use “Mr.”

Addressing women can be more difficult.

“Ms.” is the feminine equivalent of “Mr.”  It is accurate if the woman is single, married, divorced, or widowed.  It can always be used.

“Miss” refers to an unmarried woman or a girl.  Be careful of using this, especially in a professional setting.  It can sound condescending or patronizing to address a woman as if she were a girl (not an adult).

“Mrs.” refers to a married woman.  “Mrs.” is not appropriate for all married women, however.  If the woman has replaced her last name with her husband’s, then “Mrs.” is accurate.  If, however, she has kept her last name, then “Ms.” is the accurate address.

For example, when I married I kept my name.  (It was the first thing I received when I was born, why should I give it up?)  It drives me crazy when people call me Mrs. Farrell when they know my husband’s last name is not Farrell.  No, Mrs. Farrell would be my mother.  Or a sister-in-law.  Or an aunt.  To call me “Mrs. Farrell” implies that I married my father, a brother, or an uncle.  Yuck!

It can be tricky if the woman is divorced.  Did she keep her ex-husband’s name?  Did she change it?  Did she remarry?  What name does she use?  If she is a widow, it’s easier.  If she took her husband’s name, then she is still “Mrs. xxx.”  If she remarries, then it can become tricky again depending upon what name she uses.

When in doubt about how to address a woman, use “Ms.”  At least you will be accurate.  If she prefers that you call her something else, she’ll tell you.

Badger State Author Event

Logo with books, DVD, books only_edited-3I know, I know, three out of four blogs have been on upcoming events.  Considering that I go months in a row without any self-promotion, please continue reading anyway.

Saturday, August 13, is the first Badger State Author Event at the Marriott Madison West in Madison, Wisconsin.  It runs from 9:00 to 12:00 and again from 2:00 to 5:00.  This is the first of what we hope will be an annual event.  It is a great opportunity to meet authors and have them sign their books for you.

For additional information, go to the Facebook page or the website.

Thank you and I hope to see you there!