A friend of mine, who has been going through a rough time,
said at a meeting that she appreciated that people were giving her “space with
grace.” I had not heard that phrase before, but I like it.
Some people, when they are going through a rough time, like
having people around them, helping them, doing things for them, etc. That’s
Other people, however, like to have some space to deal with
whatever they are going through in their own time and at their own pace. That’s
I am one of the latter people. Although I like to know that
people are concerned about me, I don’t want them hovering over me. Gracefully
giving me some space is what I want, need, and will forever appreciate.
If you want to help someone that is going through a
difficult situation, give them what they want rather than what you would want.
How do you know what they want? Ask them.
When my mother passed away, I realized that I was going to
need to learn to live with a new normal—a life without her in it. In talking
with friends, I realized that in life we are continuously learning to live with
Life is normal when we are children and living with our
parents. No matter what it’s like, it’s normal to us. It changes when we move out,
for college or other reasons, and we learn to live with a new normal. It
changes again when we marry, have children, the children move out, our careers
change, other changes occur, and each time we adjust to a new normal. Our
normal life changes when we lose someone, through death, divorce, or other
circumstances, and once again we are faced with learning to live with a new
Change is a part of life. And not all change is bad. Many
changes we face are very positive and lead to a better “normal” life than what
we had before. We might as well enjoy the “normal” life we currently have while
we have it, because it will change, and we will need to learn, again, to live
with a new normal.