College Bound

1, SF_52WeeksOfWisdom_FINAL COVER_022215, front_edited-1, squareFarrell_Don'tActLikePrey_FULLCOVER_FINAL_090714, cropped_edited-1Are there any women in your life that are going to college this fall?  Someone who has graduated from high school and is starting the next phase of her education?  Someone who has been in the “real world” for awhile and has decided that a college degree is what she needs to accomplish her career goals?  Someone who is going back to college for an advanced degree?

If so, my books would be great gifts to let them know you are thinking of them, as well as assisting them in meeting their goals through self reflection.

Don’t Act Like Prey! A Guide to Self Leadership for Women uses stories and metaphors to discuss the costs of being passive, the costs of being aggressive, the benefits of being assertive, and how to find the delicate balance of assertiveness.

52 Weeks of Wisdom, A Guide to Self Leadership for Women provides 52 short stories to encourage the reader to think about what she does, why she does it, and does she want to change.

For additional information, and to order from your preferred supplier in your preferred format, go to SusanLFarrell.com.

Boundaries

We have the right to set boundaries.  We have the right to create boundaries around what we consider acceptable behavior from others and what we consider acceptable treatment of us.  We have the right to defend those boundaries.

This can be difficult when we have people in our professional and personal lives that continually want more, more, more from us.  When this happens, we have the right to assertively defend those boundaries by respectfully telling the other person, “No.”

Juggling

dreamstime_xs_8973042Juggling our responsibilities in life is a little like juggling balls, eggs, or chainsaws.  (Well, maybe not chainsaws, although it might seem like it sometimes.)

The more items we try to juggle, the more likely we are to drop something.  When we drop something, then we have to clean up the mess, while still juggling the remaining items.

Before adding more items to juggle, ask yourself:

  • Is it necessary?
  • Do I really want to do this?

If the answer to both is “no” then say “no” to whoever is asking you to juggle more items.  It’s okay to tell people “no” when it’s not necessary and you don’t have the time or the desire to do so.

It’s also acceptable to ask for a trade.  If you start juggling a new item for someone, what item will they take from you?  It’s amazing how often people decide they really don’t need you to do something if you expect them to do something for you in return.

I much prefer to juggle a few items and do it well rather than to try to juggle many items and drop most of them.  I have gotten much better at telling people “no” or at least telling them “not now.”

Are you trying to juggle too many items?  Are there some you can give up?  Or can you at least quit adding more items to juggle until you feel you have the situation under control again?

The 3 R’s of Assertiveness

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This is a very condensed presentation on assertiveness.  The title is The 3 R’s of Assertiveness.  (An alternative title is Don’t Act Like Prey!)  The 3 R’s are relationships, rights, and respect.

We all have professional and personal relationships.  Within each of these relationship we and the other party have certain rights.  When we do not respect ourselves and our rights, we are passive.  When we do not respect others and their rights, we are aggressive.  When we respect both ourselves and others, we are assertive.

I published this presentation previous in a series of five segments.  If you did not have an opportunity to watch the segments, I hope you will learn something in this one that will help you achieve the success you want.

Stealing Stuff

hStealing Stuff (Video)

This blog provides additional information to the attached video clip.  The clip is from an assertiveness presentation I did for The Business Building Academy.

In my presentation on assertiveness, Don’t Act Like Prey!, I discuss the three R’s of assertiveness:  relationship, rights, and respect.  In this presentation I used the customer/supplier relationship as an example and we discussed the rights of each party.  In this clip, we are discussing the rights of the supplier.  One right of the supplier is that the customer will not steal her stuff.

I never would have thought of that until this story happened to me.

Do No Harm, and…

Do No Harm, and… (Video)

“Do no harm” is a phrase that has been around for a very long time.  I think this is a good concept to live by, up to a point.

I read somewhere (I do not remember where) an addition to this phrase that I really like:  “Do no harm, and do not let anyone harm you.”

When we are aggressive, we harm others.  When we are passive, we let others harm us.  When we are assertive, we find the balance.  We do not harm others, and we do not let others harm us.

For more information and exercises to help you become more assertive, or assertive more consistently, see my book, Don’t Act Like Prey! available through www.SusanLFarrell.com or from Amazon.

Assertiveness (5), The Finish of the Story

The attached video is an excerpt from a very condensed presentation on assertiveness.  The title of the presentation is The 3 R’s of Assertiveness.  (An alternative title is Don’t Act Like Prey!.) 

Part 5 finishes the story started in the first segment.  It includes important points to remember when you are in a situation where you know the best thing is to be assertive.

This is the final segment of the condensed assertiveness presentation.  I hope you have learned at least one or two items that you want to implement to improve your success.

Assertiveness (4), Respect and Metaphors

The attached video is an excerpt from a very condensed presentation on assertiveness.  The title of the presentation is The 3 R’s of Assertiveness.  (An alternative title is Don’t Act Like Prey!.) 

Part 4, Respect, discusses the importance of respecting ourselves and our rights.  When we do not, we are passive.  It also discusses the importance of respecting others and their rights.  When we do not, we are aggressive.  By respecting ourselves and others, and acting accordingly, we are assertive.

It also discusses using wildlife metaphors for describing passive, aggressive, and assertive behavior.

Each week I will post the next section of the presentation.  Last week was on rights.  Next week will be the final, the finish of the story stared in section 1.

Assertiveness (3), Rights

The attached video is an excerpt from a very condensed presentation on assertiveness.  The title of the presentation is The 3 R’s of Assertiveness.  (An alternative title is Don’t Act Like Prey!.) 

Part 3, Rights, discusses how each party in any relationship has certain rights.  When we do not recognize and stand up for our rights, we are passive.  When we do not recognize that others have rights, we are aggressive.

Each week I will post the next section of the presentation.  Last week was on relationships.  Next week will be on respect.