Play the Right Game

Some people are very good at winning the game they are playing. Unfortunately, they might be playing the wrong game.

If they are playing to win their game at all costs and in the process take advantage of people, hurt people, or think only of themselves, they might win that game. But they will lose in the most important game of all—life.

What game are you playing? That question might be more important than whether you are winning.

Spring Equinox—A Time for Growth and New Beginnings

The spring equinox is when day and night are close to the same length. (The same thing happens in the autumn.) It’s also when we start seeing signs of spring. The weather starts getting a little warmer and plants start blooming again. It’s a time for new life.

I think now is a great time to think about where we are in our life and where we want to go. It’s a great time to think about who we are and who we want to become. With everything around us growing, it’s a good time for us to grow as well. It’s a good time for us to start new beginnings, whether it be a new venture or a new way of thinking.

Are there any new beginnings you want to start?

Winning

I know people who pride themselves on always winning. Winning is very important to them, even if in winning they hurt others.

It is possible to win every “battle” and still lose the “war.”  Do you know people who have won every battle in that they have everything they thought they wanted but have lost the war because they still are not happy? Do you know people that on the surface have won every battle but at the end of their life they don’t have anything of real importance to show for it?

Ultimately, what is important is our relationships. Sometimes we can help ourselves win the war if we let others win some battles. Sometimes we need to determine what battles are worth fighting. It’s important to stay focused on what is of long-term importance rather than the day-to-day struggles.

Rabid Dogs and Toxic People

Although rabies is rare in the United States now, we have all heard of rabid dogs and the threat they pose. In the past, dogs thought to have rabies were immediately killed to prevent them from harming and passing the disease on to humans or other animals.

I think toxic people are much like rabid dogs. They pose a serious threat to the health of other people. They can affect the physical, mental, and emotional health of those around them.

We can’t, obviously, kill people because they are toxic. We can, however, limit our time with them and limit their influence on us. If you must deal with a toxic person, I suggest you gain information from a professional source on what you can do.

Relationships and Empowerment

In these blogs we talk about you.  Your rights.  Your responsibilities.  Your choices.  Your life.

It is necessary to remember, though, that everything discussed in these blogs applies to everyone.  This means that other people have the same rights, and the same responsibilities, as you do.  It is necessary to balance your rights with others’ rights.

You cannot empower yourself by dis-empowering others.

Self-Empowerment

dreamstime_xs_65105548, resizedEmpowerment is external, self-empowerment is internal.

Empowerment is when someone has power, permission, and/or authority to do something.  This often comes from outside the person.  For example, our clients might empower us to make certain decisions for them.  We might empower our employees to make business decisions in our absence.  Laws might empower women to have more equal status in society.

Self-empowerment comes from inside of us.  It is when we give ourselves the power, permission, and/or authority to do something.  This might be to grow and develop into the person we want.  It might be to create the life we want.  We have the power within us to create what we desire.  Often what stands in our way is that we do not think we have the right to do it.  We need to give ourselves permission to go after what we want.

Self-empowerment is when we use our power to take control of all aspects of our life.  It is when we take responsibility for our choices, our thoughts, our actions, and the consequences of these.  It is when we decide what we want, develop a plan to achieve it, and implement the plan.

To take control of your life, it is important to be aware of what makes you you.  What are your thoughts?  Values?  Beliefs?  Goals?  Motivations?  Who are you, and why are you the way you are?  Honest self-reflection is necessary to determine why you do the things you do.

Only you can self-empower yourself.

One Best Way

hSometimes finding the best way to do something can make us more effective and more efficient.  Often, however, it doesn’t matter whether it was done the best way possible or not—it just matters that it was done.

Things don’t always have to be completed in the most efficient or most effective way possible, especially if we consider the time and energy involved in finding the best way.

Do you waste time and energy by trying to find the one best way to do something?  Would it sometimes be better if you just did it?

 

 

Fear

Fear of something, someone, or even a group, is often related to fear of the unknown.  If we learn about whatever it is we fear, often we lose our fear.

What do you fear?  Is your fear misplaced?  Would you lose your fear if you learned more about whatever it is that causes a feeling of fear in you?

Would You Miss It?

dreamstime_xs_91972430In determining how I most want to spend my time, a question I have been asking myself is: “If I didn’t do it anymore, would I miss it?”  I have been coming up with some interesting answers.

There are some things that I quickly and easily know that I would miss.  Examples include spending time with family and friends (and cats), traveling, reading, writing, and many other things.

There are some things that I know I would not miss, but I would miss the results.  For example, if I never had to do house cleaning again, I would not miss it.  However, I would really miss not having a clean house, so I guess I’ll continue to clean house.

About a year ago I decided not to do speaking engagements to create more time for writing.  I found that I didn’t really miss it, even though I enjoyed doing it.  I think it might be because the time was filled with something I enjoyed even more, writing.

There is an association for which I have conducting training workshops for years.  I decided to reduce the number of sessions I did last year and to eliminate doing sessions this year.  The reason was to create more time for other things.  I was a little worried that I would miss it.  Although there are a few things I miss, such as the people, overall, I don’t miss it.  I think it’s mostly because I have filled the time with things I enjoy more.

Think of all the things you are doing.  Are there things that you could stop doing to create time for other things?  If you did stop doing these things, would you miss them?  If not, maybe it’s time to consider letting go of some of these things.

Best Use of Time

dreamstimefree_24395It’s another new year and again I am reflecting on what I have done and what I need/want to do.  I find that over the years, my answers are changing, or maybe evolving.

A question I have frequently asked myself for decades is “What is the best use of my time?”  It has served me well and has made me more productive and more successful.

At this point in my life (semi-retired), however, I’m not sure that is the best question anymore.  Or at least not the best question to ask if I use it solely to determine how to be more productive.  I think a better question might be “What do I want to do most with my time?”

My husband has been retired for a couple of years now.  The grandkids bought him a sign for the basement: “Retired.  Don’t want to.  Don’t need to.  Can’t make me!”  It’s humorous.  The more I think about it, the more I realize there is wisdom in it as well.  If I don’t want to do something, and I don’t need to do it, the only person that is making me do it is me.  Why?  Why am I making myself do something that I don’t want and don’t need to do?

I think this year I will try to eliminate more of the things that I do out of habit or a false sense of necessity and focus more on the things that I truly want to do.

How about you?  Can you let go of things that you don’t need to do and don’t even want to do to free up time for the things that matter most?