50% Price Reduction on Self-Empowerment for Women eBooks!

Sunday, March 3, through Saturday, March 9, is the 10th Annual Smashwords Read an eBook Sale. During this time you can purchase any, or all, of my eBooks on self-empowerment for women at 50% off. That’s only $2.50 per book. That’s only $2.50 for the opportunity to learn something that can change your life for the better.

Go to my Smashwords Author Page and scroll to the bottom of the page for links to my books including 3 Good Choices: Change It, Accept It, or Leave It; 52 Weeks of Wisdom; and Don’t Act Like Prey!

After purchase, go to my website for free materials to supplement the eBooks.

I write on self-empowerment for women. I provide ideas to encourage women to think about what they do, why they do it, and do they want to change.

Relationships and Empowerment

In these blogs we talk about you.  Your rights.  Your responsibilities.  Your choices.  Your life.

It is necessary to remember, though, that everything discussed in these blogs applies to everyone.  This means that other people have the same rights, and the same responsibilities, as you do.  It is necessary to balance your rights with others’ rights.

You cannot empower yourself by dis-empowering others.

Self-Empowerment

dreamstime_xs_65105548, resizedEmpowerment is external, self-empowerment is internal.

Empowerment is when someone has power, permission, and/or authority to do something.  This often comes from outside the person.  For example, our clients might empower us to make certain decisions for them.  We might empower our employees to make business decisions in our absence.  Laws might empower women to have more equal status in society.

Self-empowerment comes from inside of us.  It is when we give ourselves the power, permission, and/or authority to do something.  This might be to grow and develop into the person we want.  It might be to create the life we want.  We have the power within us to create what we desire.  Often what stands in our way is that we do not think we have the right to do it.  We need to give ourselves permission to go after what we want.

Self-empowerment is when we use our power to take control of all aspects of our life.  It is when we take responsibility for our choices, our thoughts, our actions, and the consequences of these.  It is when we decide what we want, develop a plan to achieve it, and implement the plan.

To take control of your life, it is important to be aware of what makes you you.  What are your thoughts?  Values?  Beliefs?  Goals?  Motivations?  Who are you, and why are you the way you are?  Honest self-reflection is necessary to determine why you do the things you do.

Only you can self-empower yourself.

One Best Way

hSometimes finding the best way to do something can make us more effective and more efficient.  Often, however, it doesn’t matter whether it was done the best way possible or not—it just matters that it was done.

Things don’t always have to be completed in the most efficient or most effective way possible, especially if we consider the time and energy involved in finding the best way.

Do you waste time and energy by trying to find the one best way to do something?  Would it sometimes be better if you just did it?

 

 

Fear

Fear of something, someone, or even a group, is often related to fear of the unknown.  If we learn about whatever it is we fear, often we lose our fear.

What do you fear?  Is your fear misplaced?  Would you lose your fear if you learned more about whatever it is that causes a feeling of fear in you?

Would You Miss It?

dreamstime_xs_91972430In determining how I most want to spend my time, a question I have been asking myself is: “If I didn’t do it anymore, would I miss it?”  I have been coming up with some interesting answers.

There are some things that I quickly and easily know that I would miss.  Examples include spending time with family and friends (and cats), traveling, reading, writing, and many other things.

There are some things that I know I would not miss, but I would miss the results.  For example, if I never had to do house cleaning again, I would not miss it.  However, I would really miss not having a clean house, so I guess I’ll continue to clean house.

About a year ago I decided not to do speaking engagements to create more time for writing.  I found that I didn’t really miss it, even though I enjoyed doing it.  I think it might be because the time was filled with something I enjoyed even more, writing.

There is an association for which I have conducting training workshops for years.  I decided to reduce the number of sessions I did last year and to eliminate doing sessions this year.  The reason was to create more time for other things.  I was a little worried that I would miss it.  Although there are a few things I miss, such as the people, overall, I don’t miss it.  I think it’s mostly because I have filled the time with things I enjoy more.

Think of all the things you are doing.  Are there things that you could stop doing to create time for other things?  If you did stop doing these things, would you miss them?  If not, maybe it’s time to consider letting go of some of these things.

Best Use of Time

dreamstimefree_24395It’s another new year and again I am reflecting on what I have done and what I need/want to do.  I find that over the years, my answers are changing, or maybe evolving.

A question I have frequently asked myself for decades is “What is the best use of my time?”  It has served me well and has made me more productive and more successful.

At this point in my life (semi-retired), however, I’m not sure that is the best question anymore.  Or at least not the best question to ask if I use it solely to determine how to be more productive.  I think a better question might be “What do I want to do most with my time?”

My husband has been retired for a couple of years now.  The grandkids bought him a sign for the basement: “Retired.  Don’t want to.  Don’t need to.  Can’t make me!”  It’s humorous.  The more I think about it, the more I realize there is wisdom in it as well.  If I don’t want to do something, and I don’t need to do it, the only person that is making me do it is me.  Why?  Why am I making myself do something that I don’t want and don’t need to do?

I think this year I will try to eliminate more of the things that I do out of habit or a false sense of necessity and focus more on the things that I truly want to do.

How about you?  Can you let go of things that you don’t need to do and don’t even want to do to free up time for the things that matter most?

Gifts and Wrappings

dreamstime_s_7288531, trimmedI have been giving quite a bit of thought to gifts and wrappings.  What’s important, of course, is the gift.  The wrapping makes it prettier, but the wrapping doesn’t have any substance.  It’s the gift that has significance.  If we don’t have any wrapping, we can still give the gift.  If we don’t have a gift, though, it doesn’t matter how much wrapping we have, we still don’t have a gift to give.

Over the holidays I sometimes think that we get so caught up in the “wrappings” that we forget about the importance of the “gifts” we give. The greatest gift we can give each other, of course, is ourselves—our time, attention, and love.  Being together is what is important, not the location, decorations, food, or even the gifts we purchase.  All these add to the fun and festivities, but they are still wrappings.  The gift is being together.

If you enjoy all the wrappings, and enjoy doing the wrapping, then continue and have fun with it.  If, however, you are stressed about making sure that all the “wrappings” are perfect, relax and focus on the “gift” of being with those you love.  After all, it is the gifts that are kept and the wrappings that are tossed.

Misplaced Anger

dreamstime_xs_76186218There seems to be a great deal of anger in the world.  Many people I know seem to be angry about a number of things, but especially angry at other people.

Granted, I never know everything about any situation, but sometimes it seems to me that at least some of this anger is misplaced.  Is the person truly angry at the other person?  Or angry at something else?  Or maybe angry at themselves?

If you are angry with a person (or persons), I suggest you ask yourself, why?  Why else?  And why else? Do this until you have all the reasons.  Then take a critical look at these reasons.  Did the person really do these things?  Or is it your perception?  Are you taking things out of context?  Did you ever tell the person how you felt so he had a chance to change?  Are these truly reasons to be angry?  Or are they excuses?

From this assessment, can you determine if it is something else that is the root cause of your anger?  Perhaps you are angry at someone, but there might be repercussions if you express your anger (such as to your supervisor) so you go home and take your anger out on someone there?  Is it possible that you are angry with yourself, but it is too painful to acknowledge so you blame someone else?

Anger ultimately does the most damage to the person who is angry.  If you are angry, it is in your best interest to resolve it.  And if it takes professional help to deal with it, then do it.  If you had a toothache, you’d go to the dentist, right?  Isn’t your mental health at least as important as your dental health?

Thoughts on Thankfulness

dreamstime_xs_102207128,retouchedAs I get older, I find that I am thankful for different things than when I was younger.  In the past I was mostly thankful for successes that I had achieved—graduating college, getting a good position with a good company, moving up the career ladder, making the money needed to live the life I wanted, that sort of thing.

Now that I’m older (and, I hope, wiser) I find that I am more thankful for things that I used to take for granted.

I am more thankful for the people in my life, for family and friends.  Part of this change is due to having lost people.  My father passed away ten years ago.  All his siblings save one have passed as well.  These are people that I am thankful I had in my life, but I wish I would have appreciated them more while they were here.

I’m more thankful for my health, now that it has started to decline a little related to aging, than I was when I was younger.  Perhaps it’s a little of “you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone.”

I’m thankful for how hard my husband and I have worked so that now we can enjoy retirement.  (I still can’t consider myself completely retired, but I’m getting closer.)  Although, I could have stressed less and enjoyed life more while we were working hard.

I am at a point in my life where I can be thankful for the journey itself and not just the journey’s end.

I am sharing these thoughts in the hope that you will look at what you are thankful for, and perhaps look at it a little differently.  What is most important in your life?  Are you truly thankful for it?  Or do you take it for granted?  Be thankful that you have it now, because some day you might not.