College Bound

1, SF_52WeeksOfWisdom_FINAL COVER_022215, front_edited-1, squareFarrell_Don'tActLikePrey_FULLCOVER_FINAL_090714, cropped_edited-1Are there any women in your life that are going to college this fall?  Someone who has graduated from high school and is starting the next phase of her education?  Someone who has been in the “real world” for awhile and has decided that a college degree is what she needs to accomplish her career goals?  Someone who is going back to college for an advanced degree?

If so, my books would be great gifts to let them know you are thinking of them, as well as assisting them in meeting their goals through self reflection.

Don’t Act Like Prey! A Guide to Self Leadership for Women uses stories and metaphors to discuss the costs of being passive, the costs of being aggressive, the benefits of being assertive, and how to find the delicate balance of assertiveness.

52 Weeks of Wisdom, A Guide to Self Leadership for Women provides 52 short stories to encourage the reader to think about what she does, why she does it, and does she want to change.

For additional information, and to order from your preferred supplier in your preferred format, go to

Everything is Subject to Change

dreamstime_xs_76945264My husband and I saw a sign in Key West stating:

“Everything is Subject to Change.”

Yep, that pretty well sums it up.  Anything and everything can change at any time.

Although we can plan for what might happen, I think the best thing we can do is to try to be mentally and emotionally flexible and deal with changes the best we can when they occur.

No Reality, Only Perception (2)

No Reality, Only Perception (Video Link)

dreamstime_xs_19065343Previously I wrote about how our perception of ourselves determines what we think of us, and how it might not be accurate. Now I would like to write about how our perception of other people determines what we think of them, and again, how that perception may not be accurate.

For example, have you ever had an employee who really messed up? What was your perception of that employee’s ability to do the job at the time? Have your perceptions changed? If not, is it possible the employee has changed and you have not seen it? Although I believe that generally past behavior is the best indicator of future behavior, I also believe that people can change. It may be more difficult for our perceptions to change.

Are there other people in your professional and personal life who may have changed, and you have not seen it?

It is important to keep an open mind. We may need to consciously analyze our perceptions to see if they are still accurate.


Adapt (Video Link)

dreamstime_xs_39505553I have read that the ability of a species to survive is dependent upon its ability to adapt. I think this is true. I think it is also true that our ability to succeed is in part dependent upon our ability to adapt.

The only constant is change. As things change, we need to be able to adapt.

We do this in very simple ways without even thinking about it. If the weather turns cold, we dress warmer. (Well, most of us do. I still do not understand flip-flops in the snow.)

Most of the time, though, adapting to change is not this easy. A new job, a new position, a new supervisor, a new owner, a new corporate culture all creates change and requires us to adapt to the new situation. We need to adapt to remain successful. The way we used to do things may not be acceptable anymore.

Frequently changes in our professional life are the result of changes in the economy and the world in general. We need to adapt to these changes.

We need to adapt in our personal lives as well. Changes occur. Our parents get older and require more assistance. Our children get older and require less assistance. Our lifestyles change and we need to adapt.

Change is often good and adapting can be fun. However, even when we do not want to adapt to a new situation, it is usually best if we do. The only other alternative is to leave the situation. We need to embrace the changes and adapt, rather than bemoaning the past.

It is 2015; What Have You Done?

hIt is 2015, another new year.  Have you made your goals and plans for this year?  Have you done anything to accomplish them yet?  Are you doing even one thing differently this year than you did last year to achieve what you want this year?

It is easy to get excited about another new year, about the things that we will do this year that we have not done before.  The difficulty is in carrying out the plans.  We still have all the day-to-day commitments and tasks that we did a week or two ago.  Nothing has changed, except the number on the calendar.  Nothing will change, if we do not change.

Most people do not accomplish their New Year’s resolutions.  Do not be one of them!  Commit now, implement your plans now, to achieve the professional and personal success you want in 2015.

Stop Digging

Stop Digging (Video)

One of my father’s favorite sayings was, “If you find that you have dug yourself into a hole, the very first thing you have to do is stop digging.”  (I am not sure where he heard that, but I know I heard it from him frequently.)

We all get ourselves into trouble sometimes.  It may be in our professional or personal lives.  It may be in big ways or small.  It happens to all of us.

When we realize we have dug ourselves into a hole, we need to determine what we did that got us into that situation, and then stop doing it!  It sounds so simple, and yet it can be very difficult.  It forces us to honestly look at ourselves and our actions.  It then forces us to evaluate what we did, why, and make corrections.

Self-evaluation and change are difficult.  If we do not, however, we will find that we will never get out of the hole that we have dug for ourselves.




There is No Reality, Only Perception

No Reality, Only Perception (Video)

We have all heard the phrase, “There is no reality, only perception.”  The world is to each of use what we perceive it to be.  Some people perceive the world to be wonderful and others perceive it to be horrendous.  How we perceive our lives becomes our reality.  How we perceive ourselves becomes our reality.

It seems to me that when it comes to self-perception, there are three types of people.

There are those who do not give themselves enough credit.  They do not think they are that good or that worthy.  They focus on their failures.  If this sounds like you, try focusing on your strengths and talents.  You may be a much better person, and much better at what you do, than you think.

There are also those who create a perception about themselves that is much better than what others have of them.  They may do this to make themselves feel good about themselves, to justify past actions, or to avoid looking too closely at who they really are.  If this might be you, consider being honest with yourself.  If there are things in your life that you want to improve, you cannot make good decisions with faulty information.

And then there are those individuals who have a pretty accurate perception of themselves.  They see their faults and work to overcome them rather than letting the faults define who they are.  They see their strengths and accomplishments and take credit for their hard work and persistence.  If this is you, congratulations!

Which type do you think you are?  Are there any changes you would like to make in your perception of yourself?

You Can Lead a Horse to Water…

Lead a Horse to Water (Video)

We have all heard the phrase, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.”  There are two points I would like to make about this statement.

If you are the “handler,” you cannot make the horse drink.  You can lead it to water and do everything to encourage the horse to drink, but you cannot force it to do so.  In the same way, you can provide information, education, resources, assistance, and encouragement to others, but you cannot make them learn and you cannot make them change.  It has to be their decision to learn and change.

There may come a time with you need to decide that it is just not worth trying to get someone to “drink” any more.  You may decide that your time and effort is better spent where it will make a difference.

Let’s look at this from a different perspective.  What do you do when you are the “horse?”  If someone leads you to water, do you drink?  If someone is offering you information, education, resources, assistance, and encouragement, do you learn and change?  Or do you refuse?  Why?

If you can determine the real reasons you do not want to learn and change when given the opportunity, you may discover the hurdles that are reining you in from achieving the professional and personal success that you desire.